I've commented on writers on this blog before and if there is one thing I can't stand is "trite" or predictable poetry. Face it: even though we all have feelings, just because you can write them down does not make you a "poet".....for some, it barely counts as writing! Harsh, but true.
I came across something today that was so moving, I wanted to share it here. It was written by a new-found-old-friend who asked me to keep their identity hidden.
I think the strength of this writer's piece lies in the fact that the feeling expressed is universal. It's easy to get inside this piece and feel the pain firsthand. The three-part line writing style is conversational & expressive without being predictable.
You just know you've been to this place: It's familiar, it's painful and it's true.
Enjoy! I cried today, that never happens, I’m made of stronger stuff She lied today, or did she really, is she making it all up It’s me she loves, she’s over him, but his memory just won’t fade My sun is blocked by furious clouds, I can’t escape this shade If I don’t believe, I can’t go on, my world comes crashing down To be deceived, to be hurt again, jut when I ‘d lost my frown This can’t be freedom, I don’t feel free, feel caught up in a game This can’t be freedom, I don’t feel me, wanna ask her to take my name This can’t be freedom, it can not be, wonder if she feels the same I cried again, getting used to it, must be something in the air I cried again, then had to stop, my heart can’t stand the wear I know it’s out there, I know it’s real, some how I’m just not sure If she is ready, if I am ready, if our love is ready to endure If I cut myself will I still feel, wonder if I’ll even bleed My heart no longer has the strength to pump the blood, does it even beat This can’t be freedom, I know it can’t, when chains they hold us fast This can’t be freedom, we are not free, when we hold on to the past This can’t be freedom, not for you and me, just hoping we can last I tried to cry but no tears would come, don’t know if that’s good or bad I still can’t cry, not even some, wonder if I ever could The love I had, the love I lost, not so easy to replace I thought I saw the love I craved when I gazed upon your face You tell me that you love me, and that you need and want me But is it love, is it need, what do you want me to be I can’t be him, no never that, I am all that I can be This can’t be freedom, it just can’t, when so many questions go unanswered This can’t be freedom, when your eyes are full of doubt This can’t be freedom, what can I say, I can’t bear to hear you shout I’m crying again, and don’t know why, am I happy, am I sad I’m crying more, can’t understand, am I angry, am I mad Don’t know how I feel, I am confused, not sure what I can stand Do you hear me cry, do you ask why, do you understand Labels: emotions, poetry, writing
